Sometimes, as process observers, we get lost. We can lose our way in the room, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the process we’re observing and reflecting is disorganized or complex. Or maybe we our alliance with one partner is a bit off. Perhaps their story is too close to our own. Or, we just […]
I was consulting with a group of supervisors on their supervision this morning (online with EFT supervisors from many different locations), and we were discussing how we experience and perceive things differently when we are triggered by shame and fear, especially when we consider vulnerably sharing or taking a risk. Just like our clients do […]
Jan 2012 – JMFT I’m reminded as I read “Research on the treatment of couple distress” (JMFT, Jan 2012) what it really takes to create change in couple distress. Using the treatment model and keeping the attachment focus and working with emotion are key to creating change in couple distress. Of course, learning to use […]
Recently the NY Times posted an article by contributing author, Elizabeth Weil titled Does Couples Therapy Work? After briefly reviewing the history of couple therapy Weil emphasized the difficulty therapists face with couples. She does this in relation to presently promoting her book, No Cheating, No Dying: I had a good marriage. Then I tried […]
Imagine showing up for a workshop and the co-facilitator had a substitute. Yep, that was me, the substitute. You know, once you’re out of grade school substitutes aren’t really considered a good thing. For example, we groan when we go to the opera and the understudy is on. If someone gets hurt on the ball […]
As a frequent traveler, I have the opportunity of being in conversations with cab drivers fairly regularly. Today’s cabby spoke with pride about his large family (5 children) and his pleasure in his family and being able to provide for them. He spoke about feeling the true partnership with his wife and optimistic for his
This weekend, at a Hold Me Tight weekend workshop I was reminded of the power of using somatic response to access the primary emotions and unmet need. One participant described his heart being clamped down as he got in touch with the terror of facing his partner’s anger. Another turned his head and looked away, […]
Here are some words from Sue Johnson from the 2010 EFT Summit about what we do and don’t do as EFT therapists. It’s a wonderful review. “EFT is kinda different. We don’t teach problem solving, we don’t sketch long family histories, we don’t coach people in skills interactions, we don’t really persuade people that there’s […]
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